Never Let Me Go
by orlandraopal29
Summary: Hermione ponders why she chose Ron instead of Harry and notices she made the wrong choice after a horrible night in her apartment. Takes place four years after Second Wizarding War excluding the prologue. Based on songs by Florence and the Machine.
1. Prologue: Never Let Me Go

**1-Prologue: Never Let Me Go**

"_Which direction am I going in?" _Hermione thought, _"I'm stuck at a crossroads here and if I lean towards one side, the other aches."_ She bit the inside of her cheek, concentrating on the rain. The falling droplets were just like her thoughts: they came and went in a matter of seconds. She's not broken, she isn't chipped, she's torn. Hermione still hasn't processed what happened only a few minutes ago.

Ron left.

He shoved her away and left them. Both of them. She had a lot of questions, too many questions for her brain to handle. His cruel words lingered in the back of her mind, stabbing at her self-esteem.

"That's all you're gonna be," he screamed, "a follower who won't quit. But 'Mione we won't win this, it's obvious. Three kids can't fight off armies of them and you know that. We're bound to lose." The locket wasn't on him. He flung it onto the floor in a sobbing rage. He gave up. He gave up on himself and his two best friends, but **the locket wasn't on him. **

"_Did he really mean it?" _

"_Will he ever come back?"_

"_Is he worth it?"_

""I'd say that it's one short step from 'wizards firs-_ One engine barely makes it away-_We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same and worth saving-_Hold on, they're breaking their bonds."_ The voices of Kingsley Shacklebolt and Colin Meloy crackled throughout the tent.

"Are you done with this?" Harry interrupted Hermione's deep, dark trance.

"Huh?"

"Your dinner, are you done with it?" Harry lifted up a plate of half-eaten rabbit and a chunk of stale cheese.

"Oh…yeah."

"Are you sure? We're walking tomorrow, we'll need to eat."

"It's fine, I'll just find a big breakfast."

Harry sighed at her dull speech. Something was wrong and he wasn't going to ignore it. She was hurting, and he sensed it.

Hermione didn't go through all of this to be left behind. If she did, she wouldn't have gone to the Yule Ball with Viktor, she wouldn't have gone to Slughorn's Christmas Party with Cormac, she wouldn't have cried over his relationship with Lavender Brown, and she certainly wouldn't have begged Mrs. Weasley to lower the chest hem on her dress she wore to Fleur's wedding!

"_Does Ron even love me like I love him?"_

"_Do I even love him or do I just crave closeness? Why would I go through so much trouble for him? It's not like he did anything for me. I'm going through trouble for Harry but it's not only for him, it's for our world…my world. Also, he's a real gentleman. I guess Harry's just more mature than Ron."_

"_No, I just cannot think about love right now. There's a world I have to save. I can't give into that intimacy. It's a temptation that could potentially end me." _

"Looking up from underneath

Fractured moonlight on the sea

Reflections still look the same to me

As before I went under" The radio sang. The static and voice mixtures were gone, leaving only the voice of Florence Welch in the tent, lingering in between their constant silence. Hermione buried her head in her hands trying to force the questions out of her head.

"_Ron is brave. Truly brave. He just has his moments. But Harry-oh-Harry he knows how to cheer me up. Even when I feel absolutely horrible about mysel-"_

"May I have this dance?" Harry asked. Hermione's head jerked upwards, seeing Harry standing proudly, holding out his hand, and slightly swaying to the majestic beat. He never looked so handsome. Carefully, he lifted the locket from her neck and placed it on Ron's mattress. The weight of the world was off of her shoulders. An instant spring was in her step.

"_Speak of the devil."_ Hermione thought. Her stomach plummeted to her wet boots. With little debate, she accepted with a weak smile. She placed her hand onto his as he led her to the radio.

"_Harry's not the little first year anymore. He's grown, physically and emotionally. So has Ron, but mostly physically, he still has the emotional range of a teaspoon."_

"Oh, and it's breaking over me

A thousand miles out to the sea bed

Found the place to rest my head" His arms wrapped around her waist as another burst of anxiety rushed through Hermione's veins, and her legs went weak, almost numb. They were so close together. She felt his heart beat bounce back and forth between them. His eyes screeched devotion and determination. He grinned as they began to dance, creating sloppy shapes with their feet along the floor. Hermione paid very close attention to the lyrics:

"Never let me go, never let me go

Never let me go, never let me go

And the arms of the ocean are carrying me

So cold and so sweet

And all this devotion was rushing out of me

And the questions I have for a sinner like me

But the arms of the ocean deliver me

And it's over and I'm going under

But I'm not giving up

I'm just giving in" Harry held and caressed her. A wide grin met Hermione's lips.

"_He does know how to cheer me up." _Hermione leaned her head on Harry's chest, hearing his heartbeat, begging for a temporary feeling of happiness. Right there, the rain was gone, the bags under her eyes vanished, and her mixed feelings morphed into one final statement.

"Do you know what this song means?" Harry asked. She could feel his vocal chords vibrating over his chest.

"You listen to them?"

"Not often, but this is just one of my favorites."

"I can tell, it's very beautiful."

"This song is about surrendering. But not giving up on everything, it's about giving into something…or someone. It's about being so overwhelmed with something you just want to stay there forever."

"Wow." Was all she could reply.

"Listen Hermione, I had no idea Ron was leaving, but we both know that this isn't going to be easy. I don't wanna choose between you and the future of the wizarding world. I can't afford to lose you as well. I can barely afford to lose Ron, but you, without you we would've died."

"Stop exaggerating." Hermione scoffed

"No, it's true. Who gathered up our things in a beaded bag before the Death Eaters came to Bill and Fleur's wedding?" Hermione sighed deeply, "Exactly."

He inched backwards and stared into Hermione's eyes. She met his gaze and blushed.

"Sometimes, you just have to push everything back for a moment." He said.

"Deliver me

(Never let me go, never let me go)

Never let me go, never let me go)

Deliver me

Never let me go, never let me go

And it's over

I'm going under

But I'm not giving up

I'm just giving in"

Harry put his hands on her cheekbones.

'_So close.' _Hermione thought

"Sometimes, we have to be ourselves instead of soldiers."

"Ah, slipping underneath

Wooh, so cold, but so sweet."

She could've kissed him. But, images of Ron flickered in the back of her mind.

"_F-for the best?" _she thought. Reluctantly, she pulled away from his grip and trudged to her bed. Her ears rung and feeling seeped into her legs. She forced herself to believe that she made the right choice.

"_I could've kissed him."_

**During the Battle of Hogwarts**

The water splashed onto them, Ron gasping for air.

'_Did we destroy it? What happened?" _

Hermione turned to Ron examining his face for answers. He didn't look puzzled, he looked **ready. **Their terrified breathes echoed through the chamber, something was bound to happen. This war was dangerous. Every breath could truly be their last. Every step might be their last. Ever touch could be their last. Somebody had to take advantage of this. Steadily, Ron leaned into her lips.

'_He's finally matured; he's finally come back to his senses.' _The images of Harry flickered in her mind. That night in the tent, their friendship, and their potential love. She ignored them.

**She let him kiss her. She forced herself to believe that she made the right choice.**


	2. Kiss With A Fist

_AN: **If you're are sensitive to abuse, strong language, and rape, I would highly suggest that you skip this chapter.** This was a tough one to write and was very emotional so if it seems a bit choppy, ignore it. I hope you enjoy it. I promise, the story will get happier after this. _

* * *

Kiss With a Fist

_Four Years Later..._

"Morning love." Hermione whispered to Ron. He groaned and opened his eyes lazily.

"Mornin' babe." he breathed

"It's time to go to work. It's Friday…if that helps anything." Hermione giggled and kissed him on the cheek. Ron grinned at her and hopped out of the bed to get ready for another day's work at the Auror Office.

Their relationship was perfect for the previous four years. He'd buy her flowers, cook dinner, and even do the dishes. Although they were tired, both of them gathered up the energy to make love almost every night. She sighed from the wondrous old memories. Now, they barely have sex, and when they did, he was sloppy and always wanted Hermione to give him a blowjob. Hermione usually declined, so he'd just end it right there. She agreed once, but he used her head as a game controller. (which made her neck sore for about a week) After dinner last night, Hermione spoke up about it, which resulted in a heated argument. She won, so he promised he would treat her much better from now on.

'_He just has his moments.'_ Hermione thought to herself.

"'Mione?" Ron asked from the closet

"Yeah?"

"When I get back from work today and enter our flat, I want to see you in a dress, all ready to go."

"Where?" Hermione gasped.

"I'm taking you out tonight. I'm gonna treat you like I should've been for the past couple of years." Ron said cheerfully

"It's a date!"

"Certainly" Ron said walking out of the closet with his best-looking suit.

"Why are you wearing your lucky suit?" Hermione asked

"I think I'm gonna get that promotion today!" Ron said.

"I wish you the best of luck." Ron grinned and walked towards Hermione

"This'll be the start of something new." He whispered and kissed Hermione lovingly.

"I love you." She whispered.

"Love you too. See you tonight!" He yelled while grabbing his briefcase. With a loud 'POP' he vanished.

'_This is the Ron I love.'_

* * *

"Where is he?" Hermione groaned, sitting on the edge of her living room couch staring at the door. It was 3:30 in the morning, and Ron never came home from work. You'd think she might be worried sick, wondering if he's unconscious in a South London alley. The only reason why she is awake is to yell at him. He has done this three times now; he'd clock out and party until the morning light. It made Hermione sick!

"This is not the start of something new. Quit making promises you can't keep, bloody arsehole." Hermione gripped her wand tightly, ready to hex him into oblivion. She changed out of a revealing black dress into her pajamas. Her hair was tied and her face was tense, ready to strike.

The door burst open and out comes Ron, who wobbled out of the doorway.

"HHEEEEEEEEEEYYY! REEEAADDDY FOR DINNER?" Ron roared drunkenly.

"Belt up Ron! Where have you been all night!"

"I got the promotion and we went to celebrate."

"You and who else went out?"

"Harry, Neville, Seamus, and Dean." he slurred.

"Where did you guys go?"

"Stop asking me questions and gimme a kiss. Or better yet, maybe we can take this to the bedroooom." After loudly shutting the door, Ron stumbled to a now standing Hermione and leaned in for a sloppy kiss.

"You better answer me before I hex you!" Hermione threatened while swatting him away.

"It's not any of your fucking business." Hermione slapped Ron as hard as she could.

"How dare you? If you're out until three in the fucking morning it is my bloody business!"

"Well you aren't my mum you filthy little-"

"Little what?" Hermione interrupted.

Ron stood there gritting his teeth angrily. He looked a mess. His hair was tangled , his clothes were wrinkled, and his breath smelt of every liquor in the wizarding world.

"You filthy little cunt!"

_'Stupefy!'_ Ron flung backwards, crashed onto the door, and slid onto the ground groaning.

"You arsehole! How dare you speak to me that way! I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE START OF SOMETHING NEW! You're just a drunk who only cares about himself! You promised you ungrateful bastard! Fuck you!"

Ron stood up surprisingly quickly, gritting his teeth even harder than before.

"How dare you do that to _me_ you bitch!" Ron screamed while running towards Hermione with his wand raised.

_'Expelliarmus!'_ Hermione squeaked. His wand flew into Hermione's palm and she tucked it under the waistband of her pajama pants.

"I'm so tired of this daft bullshit Ron! I might as well leave you!"

"No you aren't!"

"I've already got my beaded bag, ready to go. There's nothing you can do about that!" Hermione picked up her beaded bag and muttered a spell into it. Her belongings zoomed into it one by one: clothes, shoes, books, and other necessities. Once her items were in her bag, she wrapped it around her wrist.

"You aren't leaving." Ron grunted. He walked to Hermione and tried to pry the bag from her grip.

"Get off me!" she yelled. His hands yanked hers and rocked Hermione from side to side. His thick fingers fumbled around hers, scratching her aching wrist.

"You aren't leaving!"

"Yes I AM!" Hermione lifted up her leg and kicked Ron hard in right shin.

"Fuck!" He screamed.

"You rotten bastard! You didn't have to scratch my fucking wrist that way!" Hermione bellowed. Ron arose quickly and roughly shoved Hermione against the wall. She gasped.

"_You_ don't treat _me_ that way." Ron muttered.

"YOU? THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!" Ron yanked the bag from Hermione's grip and straddled her wrists. He moved in closer, breathing heavily onto her lips.

"I give you everything and this is how you repay me?" Ron said.

"What do you mean EVERYTHING," Hermione retorted, "It's not like you've done anything nice for me in a three months!"

"I was gonna take you out."

"Ron, get off of me...now. I just wanna leave." Hermione said sternly.

After a long pause, Ron hissed, "No."

Hermione spat into his face as forcefully as she could. Ron wiped the spit from his cheek, snarling irritably.

"You bitch!"

Hermione punched him dead in the throat.

"Don't you dare talk to me that way!"

"What are you gonna do about it you cunt!" Hermione swung her leg back and tried to kick Ron in the chest. Like a swift martial artist, Ron grabbed her ankle and flung it back down to the side, causing Hermione to lose her balance. She slammed her foot on the hardwood floor and fell onto it with a sharp, excruciating pain coming from her ankle. Hermione began to cry while clutching her foot, praying that her ankle wasn't sprained.

"GET UP!" He yelled. Hermione rolled from side to side, crying and holding her swollen foot.

"Oh you're crying now, huh?" he said, "It's just a simple pull, we can just pop it back into place."

'BASH' Ron slammed his foot on Hermione's injured ankle.

"AUUUUUUGH!" Hermione screamed. The pain was unbearable; it burned, pulsed, and ached along with the rest of her trembling was covered in a thick layer of sweat, trying her best to ignore the pain and to leave as fast as she could.

Ron was standing over her, rage still flaring in his eyes. Hermione couldn't concentrate to apparate. She was injured and Ron was…hitting her. Actually hitting her! She couldn't process the thought.

Ron grabbed Hermione by her shoulders and pulled her up to him.

"You won't leave me!" He said shaking her.

"I am leaving you-y"

"NO YOU AREN'T!" Hermione tried to hold back the sharp pain in her ankle. He slapped her.

Then again.

Then again.

Then he began to hit her ferociously. Every single bone and muscle ached. She tried to kick him but he had her harnessed. She was blank, entirely blank. Ron hoisted Hermione over his shoulder.

"GIVE ME MY BAG RON!" Hermione yelled. "GIVE ME MY BACK SO I CAN LEAVE YOU!"

"I won't let you." Ron carried her to their bedroom and flung Hermione onto their queen sized bed.

"I love you." He said sincerely. Ron ripped off his shirt and began to kiss Hermione's neck, trying to take off her pajama shirt. He took his wand from her waistband and tucked it behind his ear. Ron yanked Hermione's wand from her grip and threw it out of the door.

"No, Ron. No. No!" She protested.

"It's fine. I love you."

" Ron! No! GET OFF OF ME! GET OFF! HELP! HELP!" She yelled

"Shh!"

"HELP!"

Ron zipped his pants and shrugged them to his ankles.

"Shhhhhh."

With her good leg, she kicked him hard in what felt like the crotch.

"Gah!" He fell backwards on the ground, gurgling, about to throw up. He shook while holding his crotch, swearing like he had been all night. Ron let go of her bag. Hermione rolled out of bed and tried to walk on her ankle. The pain was excruciating. It began to pulse and ache again. She ended up hopping out of her old bedroom, grabbing her beaded bag along the way.

While hopping down the hallway, a force pushed her down onto the hardwood floor, hitting her jaw and busting her lip on the ground.

"You're weak." He said wiping the last bit of bile from his lip. Hermione began to **crawl** to her wand, trying to ignore the sharp pain erupting from her body. Ron tried to grab her ankles, only to meet the ground in a painful tumble.

'_Concentrate Hermione'_ Once she reached her wand she heard Ron protest loudly, professing his love even though he just beat her.

"I WILL NEVER BE WEAK! You're the weak one, Ron." She replied

'POP!'

_**She vanished.**_

* * *

AN: Phew, that was a doosey! Anyways, I might finish the next chapter soon but I have marching band camp in a couple weeks and for those who are unaware, band camp takes places ALL DAY and is extremely tiring and time-consuming. It lasts for two weeks then school begins about the next week after it ends. So the chapter updates might lack so I really wanted to tell you guys in the upfront. But I have time this week, so chapter 3 should be up BY July 22nd. But i'm really unsure about the rest according to my schedule. I WILL TRY MY BEST EVERYONE!


	3. Heavy In Your Arms

Harry's house was the only place she could think of.

His street was slick along with his lawn, bathing in morning dew. Hermione apparated onto Harry's porch and tried to absorb what just happened.

'_Ron probably knows where I am,'_ Hermione thought under the sound of crickets in the London suburb. _'I've got to get inside before he-oh god.'_ Hermione felt nauseous all of a sudden. She was clammy and needed help, urgent help. Frantically, she began banging on the door, calling for Harry.

"Harry! It's me, Hermione! Open up please! Quickly!" she squeaked anxiously. Ron could appear right behind her and beat her again, she needed to get inside. As time passed, the loudness of knocks increased. Her knuckles were irritated and sore but she kept knocking on the door and hopping on her non-injured foot. Tears came back after the minute mark. She bawled, squeaked, and pleaded for Harry to answer. She had nowhere else to go, he was her only salvation.

"Shhh! SHH! Hermione, what's wr-Merlin, what happened?" Harry asked. He flung the door open causing Hermione to lose her balance and collapse into Harry's arms.

"Harry!" she gasped.

"Hermione, what's wrong, what happened?" She didn't reply. She let silence fall over the subdivision.

"W-where's your bathroom, I think I'm gonna be sick." She whispered.

"Down the hall, first door on the left."

"T-Thank you." She replied. Hermione pushed herself off of Harry's forearms and limped to the bathroom as fast as possible. She stumbled to the toilet and threw up.

After flushing the toilet, she turned to the sink to wash her hands and gasped when she saw another figure in the mirror: It was her.

Hermione had bruises on her throat and chest. A bad one was on her jaw. Hermione's lip was cut and bleeding, along with her nose. From the pain she felt, there were more. She began to cry again.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Harry asked leaning on the doorway. Hermione turned to finally get a good look at him. He was shirtless and wearing boxers. He had broad shoulders, bulky biceps, and sexy abs, but Hermione couldn't think about him like that right now. She shook her head. The words were stuck in her throat. She couldn't get them out right now.

"Here." Harry handed her a damp hand towel. Hermione put it on her face, still crying softly.

"You can't walk can you?" he asked sincerely.

"No, I-uh-I hurt my ankle. I don't know if it's sprained though."

Harry walked to her and held her tight in a loving hug.

"I don't know what happened, but I'll take care of this." He stroked her hair while she cried onto his shoulder. The feeling of his arms around her was overwhelming. She loved how he didn't even know what the situation was, but still cared for her. She loved how he could understand her. She loved how he could make her feel better.

"Let's get you to bed." Harry bent down and scooped Hermione off of her feet and carried her to his bed room. He didn't roughly hoist her over his shoulder. He carried her like the most fragile thing in the world.

Harry set her in the middle of his king-sized bed. He gathered pillows and stacked them on top of each other.

"Which ankle is it again?"

"Left." Hermione whimpered. Harry slowly lifted her ankle onto the stack of pillows, disregarding her wincing.

"I'm just going to stretch it out to see what's wrong with it."

Hermione nodded while biting her lip. Harry held Hermione's heel in the palm of his left hand. He took his right and moved the ankle in a circular motion, increasing its length every rotation.

Around the third turn, Hermione gasped and yelped quietly. Harry moved the ankle to its left.

"Oh." She sighed

He moved it to the right, farther than before.

"Augh!"

"Sorry." Harry apologized.

"You're ankle is really messed up, Hermione. But a spell can fix it right up." Harry muttered a long spell while he stared at his wand, then her ankle, concentrating.

'CRACK!'

" AUGH! SHI-"

"Whoa there!" Harry interrupted. Hermione tried to grin.

"Now move it around. Does it hurt?"

"No."

"Great. Now let's do the rest."

After a handful of spells, wincing, and stinging, almost all of the bruise's on Hermione's body were gone. But she knew there were more.

"Once you take a shower you can see the other bruises and heal them yourself I just don't want to invade your priva-"

"Oh it's fine Harry. I'll get it." The room fell silent.

"Do you think you can tell me what happened tomorrow?" Harry asked quietly.

Hermione nodded slightly. Harry sighed.

"Good night." He said.

"Good night." She replied. Harry kissed her on the cheek and walked out of the door. She enjoyed that more than anything.

* * *

Hermione awoke and realized that everything that has happened wasn't a dream. Harry was at the foot of her bed holding a tray of breakfast.

"Morning." She said

"Morning!" he replied enthusiastically.

"Why are you so happy?" Hermione said.

"It's Friday!"

"You're this excited on Fridays?"

"No..it's the Friday."

"...Huh?"

"It's the Championships! The Montrose Magpies vs. The Falmouth Falcons : a rivalry that'll SETTLE TONIGHT! We're gonna beat them Hermione. This is my first year as Seeker on the Falcon's so I've gotta give it my all. We're gonna win. We have to win. "

"Quidditch truly is your passion Harry. I admire that."

He smiled coyly.

"I-I've got you breakfast. I got us some waffles, bacon, and eggs. Do you want tea or orange juice?"

"Tea please."

"Alright." Harry set the tray of food on Hermione's lap. She winced at the sudden heat and pain coming from her waist.

"Extra bruises?"

Hermione remembered what Ron did to create that bruise...and it wasn't pretty. Hermione nodded trying hard not to break down. It seemed like she ran out of tears.

"When do you guys practice today?" Hermione said changing the subject.

"Noon to three. Then the game begins at four. I can get you a free ticket...if they aren't sold out."

"Aww thanks. I would love to go."

After another awkward silence, Harry asked losing the excitement and enthusiasm in his voice, "So...what happened yesterday?"

'Oh god. If I tell him, his heart will break and I don't want him to lose the Championships. Who knows what'll happen?! I understand how serious this situation is I just don't want to break his focus.' Hermione thought, 'Just tell the truth. He's your best friend.'

"Oh..well I just don't wanna break your focus. I had no idea the Championships were today. I thought they usually took place next mo-"

"Quit changing the subject Hermione. I don't care what I lose as long as you tell me what happened to you. Quidditch does mean a lot to me but you mean more. Tell me what happened Hermione."

Hermione blushed and stared at her half-empty plate of food. The words were stuck in her throat but this time she had to get them out no matter how hard it was going to be. She sighed deeply.

"Ronwasbeingthedrunkenarsehol eheisbuthistimehepromisedsom uchandstillputhimselffirstan dhecamehomedrunklikehealways didandtreatedmesowrongandbea tmeifeelsoweakifeelworthless andtiredandronbrokemyhearthe hurtmeemotionallyandphysical lyandicanthandlethathedidthi stomethecharmingboydidthisan diknewimadehtewrongchoiceise eitnowsostoppunishingmeandle tmerewritemypast!"

"Pardon?" Harry asked with his eyes bulging out of their sockets. "Ron did what?! No! Wait...just start from the beginning."

"We had an argument the other day about how our relationship has been going d-downwards. And he said that...he said that he'd try as hard as he possibly could. He promised. Then the next morning he apologized with a sort of peace offering. He said that once he comes home, we were going out to eat. Ron also would find out if he got that promotion he wanted at the office that day. He did, which you'd think would be a good thing. But..he celebrated on his own and came home drunk at 4am."

"Typical." Harry scoffed.

"I yelled at him. Then, one thing kinda escalated to another and another. He called me horrible, horrible, names. Then he-he...b-beat me."

Harry gasped and held his hands into tight fists, constraining the anger erupting out of his body.

"I told him that I was leaving him. Then he said, 'You won't' or 'You can't leave me'. He tried to rape me but I got away and apparated to the first place I could think of." Tears splattered onto her plate.

"He did that to you? All of those bruises? Your ankle?"

"Bashed it on the g-ground." Harry set the breakfast tray aside and held Hermione in his arms, praying that she was going to be alright.

"I'm so sorry. This isn't your fault."

"Yes it is."  
"No it isn't Hermione!"

"I was dumb enough to believe him."

"You were strong enough to leave...and that's not weak at all. Some women endure that type of things everyday Hermione and you are strong and you were able to get outta there. I'll take care of him for you Hermione. I'll help you. Whatever it takes to make you safe and happy."

Hermione clutched Harry's shoulders, grasping onto her savior. She missed Harry. She needed him madly.

"He said he went to the bar with you, Dean, and Seamus. Was he drinking a lot?"

Harry just sighed. "We went to a bar but we left at around 11."

"So...you don't know where he went afterwards?"

"No."

"I guess he was fucking a random slag on the alleyway then. God he makes me so fucking MAD! How dare he?! HOW DARE HE BREAK A PROMISE?! I DO-"

"Hermione, Hermione, HERMIONE!" Harry roared, "Calm down." He held her against him as she shuddered with anger, trying to erupt from his grip.

"Don't tell me to calm down. Why should I be calm right now?! I shouldn't be calm when I let my ex get piss drunk and hook up with whores all around Lon..."

Harry let her rant, she needed to get it out. She had to let out those swear words he'd never hear her say.

"I'll rip 'em to shreds the next time I see him! I WILL!"

"Hermione! Don't you dare go anywhere near him. I'll take care of Ron for you."

"No! He's not gonna hurt me when he's bleeding on the ground!"

"Hermione!"

"NEXT TIME I GET MY HANDS ON HIM HE'S NEVER GONNA SEE DAYLIGHT AGAIN!" Hermione buried her head onto his shoulder and sobbed into it. Harry let her frightening mood swing pass.

"Shhh, Shhh Hermione. It's going to be okay. It's going to be alright."

"Thank you." she whispered, "Thank you so much Harry. I just don't know what to do from here."

"You'll stay here until you get back on your feet. That's what you're going to do."

* * *

Harry knocked on Ron's door furiously.

"Open up!"

"One second." A feminine voice sang.

'Is this the right house?' Harry checked the address: he was positive this was Ron's.

Ron opened the door clad in a purple robe and briefs.

"Harry!" he cheered, "How is it mate? What's with the anger? Loosen up! I've got some firewhiskey in the back..if Nicole didn't drink it all last night."

"Shut the fuck up Ron."

He gasped.

"Language!"

"Fuck you! You know what you did. How dare you do that to her and bring a slut back to your house!"

"HEY!" An unattractive girl called from Ron's kitchen.

"Shh Nicole, he didn't mean that." Ron whispered.

Unable to contain the anger in his body Harry flung a punch at Ron. It hit him hard in the nose.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

"FOR BEATING HERMIONE! SHE TOLD ME EVERYTHING! You sick lying bastard."

"What're you gonna do about it!" Harry lunged forward and yanked Ron's robe.

"If you come anywhere NEAR Hermione and try to hurt her...**I'll kill you.**" Harry spat in Ron's face and stormed back to his home.

* * *

AN: This chapter was about to be verrrrry long but I cut a lot of things from it. Sorry for being so late. School starts next week so I may have time to write but now that I've actuallly formulated a plot, things should run smoothly.


	4. Breath of Life

Chapter 4: Falling

Hermione stares at her reflection, licking her lips profusely. She leans forward, closer into the figure on the mirror: she refuses to believe that it is her. Bags lay under her exhausted eyes, distress stings throughout her body and anguish orbits her skin. She stands up straight and slowly begins to take off her tattered pajamas. As her pajama shirt pulls over her unkempt brown locks, she discovers bruises all over her torso. As she unclasps her lacy black bra, she finds more bruises: there are cuts along her breasts and collarbone. She chokes back tears. Her mind flashes back to Ron causing these injuries, only to clench her eyes tighter than before. Hermione then stands in front of the mirror, naked, examining her body, observing each and every bruise and cut she had on the parts of her body Harry was too respectful to heal. She stares at her pajamas: which are damp with sweat and sprinkled with blood. Hermione bit her lip at the thought that the blood could've been Ron's or her own. She deliberately reaches for her wand on the counter, letting the weight roll on her weak wrist. She places the wand onto her collarbone. The brown patches and purple strikes on her skin fade with one single tap of her wand. A weight lifted off of her body as her skin changed back to its pale color. Hermione sets her wand back onto the counter and takes a sigh in. That didn't relieve any of the pain that was there. The physical pain vanished, but the emotional pain plagued her mind like an awful disease.

She sluggishly walks over to Harry's red claw foot bathtub and turns on the hot water faucet. A jet of water erupts from the spout, causing her ears to ring from the sound. As the bath fills, her patience decreases, causing weight to push down her chest. She bites her lip harder than she ever had in her life. She lifts her leg into the growing bath of water: it was scalding hot, but she didn't mind, she found it relaxing. She puts her other leg into the bath and sits down letting the hot water wash away the pain that remained to live in her body. Hermione's been in a daze, a daze of emotion, a daze of despair. The weight pushes down on her chest. She leans farther back, letting her hair dunk itself into bath. She let the water massage her scalp. Her face was the only thing that was over the water's surface. She was numb. She was doused in darkness. Her thoughts roared over the rushing sound of water:

_'I could do it you know.' _Hermione thought to herself, '_It's probably better on the other side you know? There's no fear of going of hell…because I know that the devil lives here on earth, and he hides with Ronald Weasley. A paradise is on the other side: there are Harry's parents, Sirius, Dumbledore, Hedwig, Mad-Eye, Dobby, Remus, Tonks, and Snape. I'd rather be with them than be anywhere else. I'd rather be anywhere else than here. Here with this pain infiltrating my bloodstream, being terrorized by this awful, awful daze, I'm never going to find happy because happy was with my friends and family, and I no longer have that. I have nothing. What I have will soon become myself: nothing.'_

_'I could do it. I could do it right now.' _Hermione repeated to herself. It was the only thing she could focus on. Ron hurt her and the emotional pain that came along with it is too much. She can't take the pain. Hermione thought it was best if she took her own life rather than to heal from the pain she endured.

Hermione closed her eyes from the bathroom's dim lighting. She breathed as much air as she could. Her life filled her lungs, and escaped as she breathed out: the troubles still remained. She reached and turned the bath's water handle. As the flow ceased, silence filled the room again. It was too quiet. She breathed in again, basking in the sound. Life in, life out. More and more weight pushed down onto her bare chest. She could fall below the bath's surface, and her troubles would go away…and that's what she strongly believed. All while being contaminated by self-degrading thoughts; she sunk her head beneath the water's surface.

And she never arose.

* * *

A small pond erupts from her lips and slides down her chin and onto her chest. Life seeped into her vision. Her vision is blurred and is spinning. She takes a breath and shudders. Her lungs are no longer screaming. A figure kneels over her blurred vision: a black-haired boy wearing a soaking wet burgundy long sleeve. Her vision adjusts: it is Harry. Hermione arches into his arms. The sound enters her ears: Harry is gasping for air, sniffling, and gulping to an extreme. He is sobbing. Hermione joins with him. She feels just unaware, but she basks in her newfound life with Harry. He hugs onto her bare skin tightly; wrapping her in is damp arms, trying to warm her.

"Thank Merlin." He whimpers. Harry kisses Hermione's cheek and continues to sob for her. Hermione remains silent.

"H-Hello, H-Harry." Hermione whispers helplessly. They break apart. Harry notices that Hermione is laying naked in front of him; he covers his eyes with his hand and looks around in his bathroom for something to cover her up. He carefully wraps her in a plush mahogany robe (which so happened to be a gift from her). Harry yanks his wet wand from the bathroom floor and takes Hermione's pale wrist. He closes his eyes and pierces his lips together, breathing heavily. They apparate away. Hermione doses off once again, hoping for something…something.

* * *

Hermione opens her eyes to a bland white ceiling, feeling more confused than anything. Harry peers over her.

"She's awake." A feminine voice states.

"Oh thank Merlin." Harry sighs again. He is wearing the same burgundy shirt as before, except it was dried and he wrapped himself in a black leather jacket. He had deep bags under his bloodshot eyes. Tears began to glaze in his eyes again. Hermione's heart pulsed and her throat ached and stung.

"Where am I?" Hermione asks quietly.

"St. Mungos." The nurse says, examining a clipboard.

"What's today? Wait, what about your Quidditch game? The biggest one of the year…right?"

"Quit worrying about me, Hermione." Harry says sternly walking over to Hermione's hospital bed.

"It's the biggest game of th-"

"Hermione! You…mean so much more to me than Quidditch. Your **health **means more than a Quidditch game, I don't care whether it's a practice or the biggest game of the season. I love Quidditch…of course I do! But, I love you more."

Hermione changes the subject and murmurs, "When am I getting out of here?"

"Tonight." The nurse replies, asking for Harry to sign a clipboard.

"…Am I alright?" Hermione asks.

"We just had to check up on everything, you'll be just fine." The nurse says with a kind smile. She turns towards Harry and says, "I believe everything will be taken well if you tell her."

"Tell me? Tell me what?!" Hermione asks chaotically.

"No, it's fine," Harry says grazing Hermione's hands. "For your healing, the nurse, thought it would be best if you get Muggle help because there aren't any certified spells for helping you."

"Helping me with what?"

"Depression." Harry says sternly. The word makes Hermione wince. She still hadn't come to the shocking realization that she had tried to take her own life. Everything just flew past her memory, and it hasn't surged back yet.

"So, you're gonna put me on meds and call it a day?" Hermione scoffs.

"No, no of course not. I just really…really want to help you. I don't want to be scared like that again. I don't-"

"I suggest you two should finish the conversation in private, and you all will come up with a decision later?"

"Yes ma'am." Hermione whispers.

The nurse nods and says, "I guess we'll get you on your way then Ms. Granger." She looks toward Harry and ushers Harry out of the hospital room, directing him towards the waiting area.

"When will she be out?" Harry asks

"Shouldn't take long Mr. Potter." The nurse states. Harry awkwardly sits down onto a chair and waits impatiently for Hermione.

* * *

Harry and Hermione pop back into Harry's clean and silent apartment. Hermione trudges into Harry's room to change clothes. Harry makes two cups of tea and two turkey sandwiches. He sets them carefully on the coffee table in front of his couch. Hermione casually steps into the sitting room wearing jeans and an oversized t-shirt.

"Can we talk about this?" Harry asks breaking the indefinite silence between them. Hermione nods feverishly as she nibbles on the nails of her middle finger. She sits next to Harry. Hermione takes a sip and a bite of the tea and sandwich that Harry had carefully prepared for her.

Harry sighs and takes both of Hermione's icy palms.

"I never, **never **want to endure that ever again. You really scared me then, Hermione. I really didn't want to lose you. Honestly, you're the only person I have left in my life. Suicide doesn't end all of the trouble in your life. Trust me I have been there, and you know that. Suicide just takes away all of the chances of getting better, and I want you to know that." Harry pauses to gather himself, "I love you and I want you to know that. I want you to know that I will do anything to help you. I want you to know that I will always care for you. Is that understood?" Harry says with his eyes watering once more.

Hermione gulps, "Yes..I-I understand."

"I am not going to be ignorant and ask why, and I'm not going to be insensitive to make you feel guilty for what happened. However I am going to ask: where do YOU want to go from here? Do you want to stay like this? Or do you want to seek help?"

Hermione turns away and murmurs, "I want to get better. But…will it? Will everything get better?"

"Of course it well Hermione. If I've got you and if you've got me, we can take on anything."

"I am glad that you actually care."

"It's my pleasure. I am glad you've made the right decision. We'll work together to get you back up on your feet. I can't stand to see you like this, Hermione, truly."

Hermione wraps her arms around Harry.

"I will get better, Harry. I do not want to go back there. I want to stay here, with you. I love you too." Hermione repeated in a slight cry. These pleas became louder and her sobs became grander. Harry held her as she yelled on and on, assuring him that she was never going to scare him again She broke down her barrier and Harry let her carry on, because he had experienced the same thing. She definitely was not alone and Harry definitley understood. In order to reach better, they had to lean onto each other. And that was exactly what they were going to do.

"I love you, Harry. Thank you…thank you for everything. Thank you….thank you….thank you."

* * *

AN: I kept going back and forth whether I should make this chapter longer because I had been gone so long but I thought it would be more appropriate if I cut off here. It's nothing large and extravagant because I haven't been updating for a while but I did the best I could do. I hope you liked it, the next chapter will be up soon, you wont have to wait for a long time, I am POSITIVE!


	5. Hurricane Drunk

"It's been two months today. Two months ever since I promised Harry. And I am still sticking to it." Hermione writes, " In the past few months, I've been shot with guilt, stabbed with self-pity, punched with agony, and now I am limping with misery tied upon my back. I could be crawling right now, but I've managed to get up. Sometimes, I don't even want to write in this damn thing because I'm scared Harry looks through it. My therapist said this would be a good "escape", which I think is total bullshit. I'd rather live my miserable life than talk and write about it all the time."

" I've been living with Harry for two months now. Every day sort of fuses into each other. A specific day never really stands out to me. We have a routine. He has Quidditch. I have this journal...and everything should be coming together. At this point, I'm still taking my medications because this place where I am is dark. Life can't get worse for me because it already is. I am entirely vulnerable. I am sick of feeling like this. Things truly can't get any worse. There is nothing to look forward to. I...I just. I just need an escape right now. I feel dead. I want to be alive."

Hermione shuts the leather journal and takes a deep breath. She glances at the digital clock next to the bed her and Harry share: it was 9:05 AM. Harry already apparated to work already. Hermione was alone for the day. And just like every other day, she decided to stay home. Hermione just lounges around Harry's house, watches Muggle television, drinks tea, eats processed noodles, and waits for Harry to come home at exactly 4:02 in the evening. Despite her incomparable knowledge of time, Hermione had no idea that Quidditch could keep a man like Harry preoccupied for hours every day. It strangely frightened her.

Hermione runs her fingers through hair and inches out of bed, preparing for another uneventful day.

"Better than yesterday." Hermione sighs to herself.

"Morning, love" a voice calls once she enters the living area.

"Harry?!" Hermione shrieks. Harry is sitting on the couch eating a bowl of children's cereal and watching cartoons, embodying the 12 year-old boy he never was.

"I didn't have to come to work today. I dont have to go to work for the next month and a half!"

"Why?!"

"You can't do much during the Quidditch off season. You just analyze stuff until they say, 'see you next season"

"How lovely!" Hermione says cheerfully, plopping herself next to him on his loveseat.

"You feeling alright today?" Harry asks.

"Better than yesterday."

"Great. Want me to make you anything?"

"No, I'm fine." Hermione mumbles.

"You have to take your medications after you have something in your stomach,Hermione."

"I know, you tell me that every morning, Harry." Hermione states.

After an eerie pause, Harry continues, "So do you want eggs, bacon, an omelet, cereal, or how ab-"

"Cereal is good with me. I want m-"

"More cereal, less milk. Gotcha." Harry says as he hops towards the kitchen.

Hermione grins at Harry's enthusiasm.

"You seem distant," Harry implies from the kitchen, "is there something on your mind?"

"It's just a desire that's been on my mind, that's all."

"That's all? C'mon, just tell me. I'm sure I can fix it."

"You can." Hermione agrees in an exasperated sigh

"What was that?" Harry asks, handing Hermione her breakfast. She shakes her head as he sits on the loveseat.

"I just," Hermione stutters, "I want a bit of change. I want to just go out. I just need a break from this."

"A break from what?" Harry asks

"How I am."

Harry nods while gazing into her eyes.

"I just want a change. I love this shelter and your care, and so many memories are inside of this house. I just need some fresh air."

"I am not your parent, Hermione. I am simply a helping hand. You can go wherever you want whenever you want."

"The issue is," Hermione says, "I want to go with you. You're my protector and I feel weak without you near me. It's not a dependance thing, I just have more fun with you. And you being able to help me through this is a plus. The biggest plus I could ever have." Hermione blushes in her pale cheeks. Harry grins again.

After another short pause, Harry asks, "So how about we go into the city? We can eat, sho-"

"Sounds great." Hermione says enthusiastically.l

The two of the them walk the crowded, bustling streets of downtown London. Both of them grin madly, glad to be outside of the house. Hermione wore a thick maroon sweater, tight black jeans, and some old sneakers she's had ever since her sixth year at Hogwarts. She tied her hair back into a neat ponytail. It was thrilling to her to get ready for a day out on the town. It felt nice to spray her favorite perfume across her chest again. It was comforting to slide on those tight jeans once more. It felt great to step out into the fresh city air.

"I haven't gotten any books in a while." Hermione implies enthusiastically.

"Ah, there's a bookstore right down the street." Harry says, taking Hermione's hand into his. Hermione blushes.

After a slight pause, Hermione exclaims,

"Shit!"

"What's wrong?" Harry asks calmly.

"I've left my muggle money at home. All I have are galleons."

"Don't worry about it." Harry states.

Hermione's eyebrows raise, "Really?" she asks

"Really. Its all on me."

"Oh, Harry!" Hermione yells pulling herself closer to Harry's side.

They enter the bookstore giggling. A muggle bookstore is surprisingly neater than one in Diagon Alley. The books are stacked on top of each other in alphabetical order, the employees greet each customer with a genuine grin, and the loud city sounds seemed to cease immediately after stepping through its doors. Hermione breaks from Harry's grip and runs toward a counter of classic grins from Hermione's behavior. She looked like a little girl on Christmas morning, tearing her way through wrapping paper, anxious to see what great things lie underneath.

"Ah, Muggle books," Hermione whispers, "Oh how have I missed you!"

"What's wrong with the books for people like us?" Harry asks cautiously.

"The history can get long and draggy after studying it for many years. Besides, it's hard to have a stronger imagination in that lifestyle."

"How so?"

Hermione turns to Harry and says, "When I was little, I kept stories about potions, witches, and castles tucked away in my imagination. But when I actually have it, my imagination can become weak. You understand, right Harry?"

"Oh yes, I do, I do. I just imagined about getting out of my uncle's. My imagination couldn't really go past that."

"You didn't dream about fairytales or stuff like that?" Hermione asks.

Harry sighs in and says, "Well, now looking back on it, I had a knack for knights...and saving damsels-in-distress. Medieval stuff like that. And I also liked imagining Dudley falling on his fat self"

After an adorable giggle, Hermione says, "Now isn't that something."

Harry chuckled awkwardly and looked at his feet. Harry slid his clammy palms inside the pockets of his jeans and lifts his head slowly. Hermione holds the spine of the book, reading the back carefully while biting her lip; she was concentrated. Harry adored how small curls were creeping out of the ponytail holder and onto her glowing face. He loved how that maroon sweater clung to her waist, and he loved how she looked happy. He'd never seen her this way since...well since their years before the war.

It was the most comforting thought he had pondered all day long.

He had been thinking like this for weeks. Harry began to notice the cutest things about Hermione. Small mannerisms lingered throughout his thoughts all day. Seeing this Hermione was the best thing to witness. It meant that he was taking care of her well. It meant that Hermione is finally carrying onto much better things, and he knows how hard that can be. Although Harry is enlightened to see Hermione this way, he was feeling peculiar because after years and years of friendship, Harry has never felt this way about her. Something deep inside of Harry tells him everyday to take advantage of what he is feeling. He is just waiting for her to heal...

"Are you going to look around Harry?" Hermione asks, yanking him out of his anxious thoughts.

"Oh, erhm, no...no." Harry stammers.

"I can give great recommendations..." Hermione implies with a pleasant smile.

There is a pause filled with the rattle of the air conditioner "On second thought," Harry says, "What would you recommend?"

Hermione bites her lip as she scours the nearest bookshelf. She lurches her hand over the spine of a paperback book and places it in Harry's hands.

"What's this about?"

"Space travel. Very...futuristic medieval type. You'll enjoy it." Harry stares at the cover and nods.

"Looks great." He says enthusiastically. Hermione smiled once again, excited for Harry.

Harry grins at Hermione's happiness.

"Finally. Finally. Finally. Finally!" Hermione scribbles inside of her journal, "I knew this day would come. Oh God, I have dreamt of this day for months and months. The fuse on my heart has finally been lit and I am ready to shoot off into the better side of life. I felt alive with Harry James Potter. Yes, I feel comforted when I'm with him...but I have never felt like this before. There is this fluttery feeling in my stomach when he grins at me. He's so caring...I mean, he always has been, but I just... I just. Damn, it's hard to explain. I just feel great. Absolutely entirely great. I have been waiting for ages for ONE GOOD DAY. And I have finally had it. If things keep up, tomorrow will be a good day. Then the next. Then the next. Then the next. I have never felt so hopeful for tomorrow in my life."

"You're still writing?" Harry asks, walking into their held two glasses of tap water and held the book he bought in between his chin and his chest. He wore a blue muscle tee, a fresh pair of black boxers, and a pair of black socks on his feet.

"I'm done now." Hermione says,tucking her journal away.

"Here's your water." Harry says, setting the glass on her bedside table.

"Thanks, love." Hermione says lovingly. Harry grins as he sets his glass down and slides into bed with his book in his hands.

"Harry?"

"Yes?" Harry replies keenly turning a page.

"I just wanted to let you know," Harry lifts his head from the book and meets eyes with her, "I had my first good day in a long time. I want to thank you for that. I wanted to give you a genuine thank you."

Harry smiles, hiding the excitement squealing inside of him.

He blushes and says, "That's why I'm here, love."

Hermione inches closer to Harry and lays her head onto his shoulder. Harry's stomach clenched hard. The words he was reading suddenly became blurry. He was flushed with anxiety. Harry could feel her calm breath on his shoulder, hoping she would inch closer.

And she did, making his heart beat faster. He couldn't even comprehend the page in front of him.

"I feel your heartbeat, you know?" Hermione rasps

"What are you talking about?!" Harry protests.

Hermione chuckles, "Quit fucking around, Harry. I know you feel it too."

"Huh?" Harry stutters.

Hermione sighs deeply and asks, "You know what I've learned?"

"What?"

She leans towards his ear, "You can't let life slip through your fingers," she whispers, "You've got to grab life by the horns and hang on for dear life." Hermione places her finger on Harry's chin, locking her brown eyes with his green. Hermione bites her lip while glancing at Harry's.

"Don't act surprised..." she snarls.

Hermione meets her lips with his, grazing her hands upon his defined chest. Breaking the tension between them never felt so fulfilling. Harry's lips glided around hers. Harry's hands awkwardly slide upon Hermione's waist, entirely overwhelmed by what was happening. Hermione arches herself into Harry, steering him further off the edge. She traces her tongue over Harry's thin lips. He grins slightly. He loved the way she was teasing him (despite the fact that it was working exceptionally). Hermione releases slowly, grinning wildly. Harry's eyebrows rise.

The only words that could come out of him were, "By god, that was amazing."

This was finally what Hermione had been searching for. Not just intimacy. Not just sex. But Harry James Potter. That beautiful kiss replaced the one that was supposed to occur during that night in the tent. This time, she didn't have to force herself to believe anything. Everything was genuine and the it is the best feeling she has ever felt. For the very first time in her life, everything was right. And with Harry, she intends to keep it that way.


	6. Between Two Lungs

"Everyday, the sun rises with optimism and sets with fulfillment. I can feel myself getting stronger every day. Mentally and physically. I feel better about myself, and I feel better about my life. I live with Harry James Potter, my boyfriend. I'm not in a regretful 'could-a, would-a, should-a' lifestyle anymore. I sought out, got what I needed, and I feel better than ever. I have never been so grateful for him. He kept me going on my snippy days. Gah,I can't get started about him...this entry will never end. I guess at this point, I don't need to write in here. But, I just want to express my delight."

There is an abrupt vibration against Hermione's desk. Harry was calling her. Quickly, she answers with excitement, "Hello?"

"Mione?" Harry asks

"Yes? Who else would it be?Where are you anyways?"

"It's a surprise." Harry implies mischievously,"Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course, darling." Hermione replied

"I need you to be dressed in your favorite dress at 7 tonight. Do you think you can do that?"

"Oh, why of course, of course! I'm guessing it doesn't matter which one it is,right?"

"As long as it looks sexy on you." Hermione bites her lip anxiously.

"Sure thing, babe. So I'll see you at 7?"

"Yes you will. See you later."

"Bye." Hermione hangs up and squeals like a giddy teenage girl.

Ideas flooded into her head. Hermione knew Harry and she had good intentions of the night ahead. She knew Harry enjoyed to plan things to perfection in order to please himself and others. Hermione knows that if Harry wants her to wear the sexiest thing she has...he wants to take another step. And so does Hermione. She holds the best intentions in her mind. She wants to be shown how to be loved. Hermione wants to make love. Not fuck. She (no doubt about it) has been fucked...but has never made love. There is a difference she has noticed over the years. And she wants to experience it once and for all.

Hermione took nearly three hours to ready herself for Harry. It took her ten minutes to find her lacy black and white panties. It took her another ten minutes to find the matching bra. She showered and shaved for about an hour. It took her forever to find the right dress. The teal one didn't make her breasts look good. The navy blue one made her bum look flat. It wasn't until she found this red dress that fit her perfectly: it made her breasts look full, her bum plump, and showed off her legs and waist. To make sure, she cast a contraception charm on herself, ensuring that there won't be little Potters running around. Hermione curled her brown locks slightly and applied sexy candy apple red lipstick. Finally she slid on high black heels five minutes before 7.

Harry popped into the living room.

"W-whoa." he babbled.

"I'm guessing you like this?"

"Do I?" He replies glaring up and down her body.

"You look hot as well, might I add."

Harry wore a black and white waistcoat that showed off his Quidditch body. The white shirt clung to his sides and the coat fit him almost perfectly. His hair was neat and parted. Hermione never saw Harry dress up this well before. She was paying close attention to his attire, she seemed to ignore the single rose in his hand.

"For you, Miss." Harry says sweetly, placing the rose in Hermione's hand. She blushes.

"Why thank you!" Hermione cried, "Now...where are we going exactly?" she quiered.

"The highest rated restaurant in London: The Golden Platter."

"THE Golden Platter?! How'd you get a reservation?!"

"I have my ways." Harry implies while adjusting the ebony bowtie against his neck.

Hermione smirks.

"Tonight's gonna be great, my dearest" Harry assures before kissing Hermione on the cheek.

"How was dinner?" Harry asks, taking Hermione's hand as they turn into a London alley.

"Absolutely delicious. I don't remember chewing in fact."

Harry chuckled.

"And for you?" Hermione asks, "Was your pasta up to par?"

"Oh yes. I was expected to take leftovers home...but I guess not." Harry giggled

"I've always had a mean appetite."

"Me too." Harry adds enthusiastically.

The pause is filled with the blaring honks of horns. They apparate to their home, with good intentions lingering in their mind.

Both of them pop safely to their dimly-lit bedroom.

"Mione?" Harry calls

"Yes?"

"This night has been in my mind...forever. I've wanted you for a long time."

"Really?" Hermione asks furrowing her eyebrows.

He meets her eyes and wonders, "I- um- where to start- erhm, do,"

"Just let it out, Harry. There's nothing to be scared of" Hermione interrupts.

"Do you remember, during the war, that night in the tent whe-"

"Everyday I do, Harry."  
"Yes," he stammered, "Well I regretted that moment. I regret how I didn't kiss you. And it haunted me forever. I felt like shit. I felt like I didn't make a good decision in my life. I felt like my life wasn't going to be as promising as it seemed. I understand you're not supposed to regret things so badly but I did and I couldn't take it. To see Ron do that to you hurt me in thousands of ways. I wanted to show you that you can be treated better."

"I'm yours now. Yes there have been small holes throughout the way, but you are mine and I am yours in this moment. I couldn't ask for anything else."

"Exactly." Harry murmurs, "Exactly. When I'm with you, I'm not as sad as I have been. Whenever you call my name I'm not as cold as before. And I am absolutely honored to be in love with such an amazing woman like yourself. I love you with every single piece of my heart. I never want to let you go. I want to hold you. I want to love you."

Hermione smiles, showing her teeth, her eyes glazed with tears.

"W-What's wrong?" Harry asks

"I...feel the same exact way about you, Harry. If anyone is going through something, there is always one thing that keeps them going. And it propels them to greater things. You were that person to pull me through. You're my best friend and I, too, am honored to be in love with a man like you. On days when I didn't want to be taken care of, you did regardless of the situation, and look and me now. Look at us now. I love you...so, so, so much. It sounds cliche but I just can't form my love for you into coherent words."

Harry chuckles sweetly.

"I just wanted you to know how much I love you,"Harry sighs, "and most importantly, I want to show you, Hermione. I want to show you tonight."

"You do?" Hermione asks, leaning slowly into Harry, grazing her hands against his bulging biceps.

"I do." Harry replies, sinking into her red lips...


	7. Spectrum (Say My Name)

The couple stands in the middle of their bedroom, kissing each other fervently. Touching each other with undeniable passion.

"I can promise you," Harry breathes in between each searing kiss, "we will never be afraid again."

'We'll never hurt again."

"We won't feel pain."

"Only this."

"We can only feel this."

He trails kisses down her neck, flicking and sucking his tongue against her. Tracing a new path upon her skin. Hermione groans softly, slowly lifting her head up in amazement.

"Damn, Harry." She whispers. Harry reaches his hands over the zipper of Hermione's tight dress. He slowly zips it down, exposing her back pore by pore. The dress slides off of her body. She licks her lips as she tugs upon Harry's waistcoat. Harry continues to kiss down her body, ripping off his top, showing off his sexy Quidditch body. Blood began to rush towards Harry's member immediately after Hermione traced her cold fingers along the bulge in his pants.

"Take me, Harry." Hermione moans. Following her orders, Harry grabs both of her bare thighs and hoists her up into his arms. Hermione squealed in surprise. Harry reaches up to Hermione to kiss her lips. They slide their tongues over and around each other, letting go of every ounce of lust in their bodies.

Harry slowly lays Hermione onto their king-size bed, reaching for her bra clasp. Like a pro, the lingerie unfurled off of Hermione, revealing her pert breasts. Hermione chuckles at Harry's astonished reaction. She arches her back, seductively inviting him to her body. He sucks on her neck once more, as she is certain it'll leave a bruise. He kisses her defined collarbone, flicks his tongue down her stomach, and grips onto her protruding hipbones.

"God, I love your lingerie." Harry murmurs against her belly button. He tucks his thumbs inside the band of her panties and pulls it down her legs ever so carefully.

"The heels shall stay on for now," Harry rasps, "They're hot."

Harry kisses her inner thigh, inching closer and closer to her womanhood. He gets dangerously close, only to come back up for another kiss on the lips.

"Damn you Harry James Potter." Hermione chuckles. Harry could already tell he would enjoy teasing her.

Harry works his way down her body again, taking her nipple into his mouth, making her crave more of him.

"Just fuck me already." Hermione begs.

"You're even sexier when you beg, Mione." Harry kisses down the path of her body one last time, just to annoy her.

Kneeling in between Hermione's legs, Harry licks her pussy, drawing out a long moan from her. He slides his middle finger inside of her.

"Oh, Harry!" Hermione exclaims.

"Goddamn you're so wet." Harry declared, "And tight."

His finger slid in and out of her with ease, but as always, he desired to take it another step forward. He wiggled his middle finger against that one heated, swollen spot inside of her.

Hermione shivered against his palm, exclaiming over and over how great it felt. She didn't know what he was doing but she knew he was doing it right. Harry added towards Hermione's pleasure by flicking his tongue against her clit, attempting to drive her over the edge.

Hermione arches into Harry's tongue, almost yelling, "More, Harry. More, more!"

Following her orders, Harry grazes his finger onto that spot, clamps his lips on her clit, and sucks onto it as if it were the most delectable sweet. All of this combined sent Hermione to another world.

Her breathing increased and her hips slowly arched into his mouth again: she was about to come. Just before her release of pleasure, Harry did the unthinkable.

He stopped.

Hermione gasped and let out a litany of swear words that Harry had never heard in his life.

"Quit teasing me, Harry! I was so, so close!" Hermione whimpers.

"Don't worry love. Don't worry." Harry hops up and take off his bottoms. He kicked his shoes and socks to the size, and slid off his black slacks. His hard cock sprung out of his boxers. Hermione looked up eagerly at his manhood. Harry ran his fingers through his hair as he stroked his thin shaft. Hermione slowly licks her lips and bites them, bringing them up into a mischievous grin.

Steadily Harry brings his manhood to Hermione's pussy. Hermione continues to beg him in short, raspy moans. Harry glides himself inside of her. Hermione gasps sharply.

"Damn, you're tighter than I thought." He groans. Harry lets this feeling sink into him. They were finally one. There weren't any layers constricting them. They were together in the closest sense.

"Fuck Harry!" Hermione cries, "Just take me already!" Harry grins at her.

Harry pulls himself out of Hermione and rolls his hips back into her. Grinding into Hermione was one of the best feelings he'd ever experienced. He loved how she was wrapped about him, clinging onto his shaft. Hermione moaned as Harry managed their movement.

Harry leaned downward in order to feel Hermione's hushed breaths.

"Deeper," Hermione sighs, "D-deeper.' And so, Harry plunges deeper into her, enjoying every single facial expression Hermione creates. He rolls his hips in and out of her, enjoying how erotic everything was. His abs rolled up first, followed by his cock. He then popped his bum out in order to roll out just as smoothly as he rolled in. Harry knew damn well Hermione was enjoying it. Her hands rest on Harry's back, scratching upon his soft skin. Her legs slowly wrap around his waist, clinging onto the pleasure he was giving her.

Despite his desire to tease, he followed Hermione's orders. When she wanted him to grind into her, he did. When she wanted him to thrust deeper, he did. And he loved this type of control.

Harry's lower stomach began to clench, but he held the release. He couldn't come before Hermione...it's just unethical.

"Hermione" Harry urged, "C-come for me, Hermione. Come for me."

On command, Hermione's breathing hitched, as did Harry's. They were about to reach climax together.

"Oh, oooohh god Harry, say it again."

"Come for me. I want you to come on my cock." Her breasts rose up and down to match her breathing, which sent Harry closer to the edge.

"More, more."

Harry's speed increased dramatically. He thrusts frantically into her, reveling in her erotic moan and 's back arched into him. As Harry could feel his lower stomach beginning to release.

And they both came. Loud and hard. They screamed each other's name, bathing in their release.

They writhed on top of each other shuddering with short breaths. Enjoying the last fragments of their simultaneous orgasms. Harry felt himself spill inside of her. Hermione felt every centimeter of Harry's hard cock inside of her.

Harry toppled onto Hermione in a tired heap.

"I fucking love you, Harry." Hermione whispers. Harry rolls to her side and places his lips onto her cheek.

"I love you too, darling."

Hermione nuzzles her naked body next to him, disregarding the heat that they've built together. She didn't even take off her heels.

It was a perfect night for the both of them.


	8. Epilogue: You've Got The Love

Wow, long time, no write. I found this in the house just before we moved out. I thought I'd take it with me just to provide a bit of closure.

Firstly, Harry and I got married. Since we don't have family around, we just held a private ceremony. Although no one was at our wedding reception, we still danced to Never Let Me Go...just like that night. Just before our wedding, I stopped taking antidepressants. I stopped because I wanted to have a little bit of fun by going to pubs again. But my pub days had to stop exactly a year after our marriage. I was pregnant! Then, nine painful months later, I gave birth to Hayley Jane Potter. I'm so excited to witness Hayley's journey in the wizarding world. She's only two now, but I already have the urge to buy her schoolbooks.

Luckily, I have not seen Ron since that night. I have heard he is imprisoned in Muggle jail. But I don't care. If I've learned anything from these seven years, I've learned that I am invincible and I have loving and caring friends and family who will always support me. I don't need to give into irrelevance. I'm living my life happily with my daughter and my husband, who I love with all of my heart. And I plan to keep it that way.

Sincerely,

Hermione Granger-Potter


End file.
